blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
