i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
