I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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