we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
