I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
