then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
