I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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