You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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