Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
