My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
