so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
