at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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