Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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