It's like a parade of train wrecks.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
