You can't motorboat a personality
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i think i just lost a toe
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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