YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
