the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
