thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
