He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize