I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
