Non-Jews are for practice
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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