belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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