I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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