I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
