I want to make a zoo with you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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