he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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