I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
