If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize