she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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