i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
