check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
