I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
