Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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