ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
