did you get engaged???
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
