I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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