how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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