just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
