I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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