is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
