Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
