Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
