He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
