I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
