How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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