If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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