yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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