He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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