how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
