man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
