I checked into jail on foursquare
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
