Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
