It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
