She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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