I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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