i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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