She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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