Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize