yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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