well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize