Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
